Casting Call/Transcript

Transcript
(The episode starts with an outside shot of the Eddsworld studios building)

Matt Hargreaves: Okay, we've got a lot of people to replace

so let's just get to it.

Jamie Spicer-Lewis: Jamie Spicer Lewis reading for the role of

Matt...

Hi Matt!

Matt Hargreaves: Just give us a second, okay?

Jamie Spicer-Lewis: Sure.

Matt Hargreaves: What the hell is this?

That role is already filled!

By me!

This had better be a mistake.

Matt: No mistake.

Matt Hargreaves: What!?

Matt: Look, it's nothing personal.

We just don't like you.

Or your voice.

Or your ugly, ugly face.

Matt Hargreaves: Well that feels very personal.

Matt: We're just trying to keep our options open.

Matt Hargreaves: You can't do this.

Matt: I think you'll find we can, and are.

Matt Hargreaves: No I mean you literally can't do this.

I'm providing your voice right now!

Matt: Oh, well nevertheless, you're fired!

Jamie Spicer-Lewis: This is weird.

I'm gonna go.

Matt Hargreaves: You can't fire me, I quit!

Matt: Ha!

Classic Matt!

Okay, moving on!

(Another outside shot of the studio building)

Christopher Bingham: Christopher Bingham reading for Tom...

Matt: Aren't you already the producer?

Christopher Bingham: EVIL producer!

Matt: I'm sorry what?

Christopher Bingham: Oh no nothing.

Matt: Alright...

Well go for it I guess.

Christopher Bingham: Holy trombones on a polo stick!

Matt: Yeah we really don't do that anymore.

Christopher Bingham: I've got nothing after this so if you, you

know...

I can do more.

Matt: Next.

Christopher Bingham: Christopher Bingham reading for Matt.

Matt: Next!

Christopher Bingham: Reading for Edd?

I can go.

I'll go...

(Another outside shot of the studio building, this time it has 3 Eddsworld logos on the building)

Rob Denbleyker: Rob Denbleyker reading for the part of Edd.

Matt: Uhhh when when you're ready.

Rob Denbleyker: Ahem.

Matt sucks.

Matt: Perfection thanks for coming in we'll be in

touch.

Thank you, have a nice day!

Was anyone going to ask why he was covered

in...?

No?

Okay then.

(Another outside shot of the studio building, except there are multiple studio buildings)

George Gould: George Gould, reading for Edd.

Matt: Gould?

Any relation?

George Gould: Yeah, I'm Edd's brother.

Matt: Oh, yeah cool you got it.

George Gould: Sorry what?

You mean you don't want me to audition?

Matt: No need, this just makes sense.

George Gould: Well if you're sure?

Matt: That okay with you Edd?

Edd: Yeah whatever.

Matt: See!

You've already started.

(Another outside shot of the studio building, this time it's in its original design)

Dave McElfatrick: Dave McElfatrick, uh reading for Tom.

Edd: Go for it.

Dave McElfatrick [In an English accent]: It'd just be you two

and no offense but that would suck.

Matt: Sorry, Dave could you tone down the Irish

accent please?

I'm maybe getting every third word you're

saying.

Dave McElfatrick: Uh, okay?

I thought i was- It'd just be you two and

no offense but that would suck.

Matt: Yeah dave we didn't understand any of that.

Again, maybe ditch the Irish accent?

Dave McElfatrick: It would just be you two and no

offense but that would suck.

Matt: ...Look this isn't working.

That'll do for today, security will see you

out.

Dave McElfatrick: What!?

Matt: There's always one...

(Another outside shot of the studio building, this time it's sideways)

Matt: Brock Bacon?

Brock Baker: It's Baker.

Edd: Whatever.

Brock Baker: Reading for...

Eduardo!

Chris O'Niell: Oh no you don't!!

"Hey kids, It's Chris O'Niell! (The original voice of Eduardo)

I'm Numero Uno!

Brock Baker: No !'m Numero Uno!

Chris O'Niell: No, I'M Numero Uno!

Brock Baker: No!

I'M NUMERO UNO!

Chris O'Niell: NO I'M NuMeRo BLUNO!

SOY.

NUMERO.

UNO...

(That's Spanish.)

(Another outside shot of the studio building, this time it's twisted)

Jonti Picking: Alright Jonathan Picking, auditioning for

out available!

And uh that there is my wife.

The Wife: Hello I'm the wife!

Jonti Picking: Shush wife I'm auditioning!

The Wife: Sorry!

Edd: Oh hey, it's Weebl!

Jonti Picking: Not my real name by the way-

Edd: The badgers guy!

Jonti Picking: I shall be reading, uh Green Eggs and Ham

by Dr Seuss's!

[COUGH] Don't worry it's not catching!

Matt: Do magical trevor!

It's my favourite!

Jonti Picking: I don't do that no more!

I'm a serious thespian!

The Wife: He's an actor now.

Jonti Picking: Shut up i just said that!

The Wife: Sorry.

Matt: Oh go on!

The Wife: No.

Edd: What about amazing horse??

The Wife: I said no! I don't have to put up with

this!

I am a consummate professional!

Come on wife, we are leaving!

The Wife: Bye bye!

Jonti Picking: You best keep one eye open, my friend!

One eye open...

Matt: Forgot about Catface!

(Another shot of the studio building, this time it's upside down)

Who's next...

Mike Picone, David Kalev-Roy, Collin Bogert, Pippin Kelly, Vincent Vintdoo (Animators): [Groans]

Matt: Ah!

Animators!

How did you get out??

Animators: We would like to do an audition

toooo....

Matt: No! Bad animators!

Matt: Wait- if you're here...

Then who's animating!!

Whew...

That was close.

(Another outside shot of the studio building, this time it's replaced with the Eiffel tower with the Eddsworld logo)

Name?

Not Matt: Uh...

Carpet...

Not Matt.

Matt: Okay Mr Not Matt, in your own time.

Not Matt: Not in the face!

Not in the face!

Matt: Little more energy?

Not Matt: NOOOOT THUHHH FACCCE!

Matt Hargreaves: Who's this!?

Matt: This is awkward!

Matt, this is Mr Not Matt.

He's reading for the part of Matt

Matt Hargreaves: Are you serious!?

Mr. Not Matt?

This is clearly me in disguise!

Look! See!!

Matt: Magnificent!

Ell: Are you guys done?

We've got this place booked from three!

Matilda: Yeah, move your butts!

Tamara: Ugh...

These guys.

Christopher Diewald: Romeo, Romeo...

Matt: Ugh, this guy again!

Christopher Diewald: [Sneeze]

Matt: You know what, Diwi?

Considering you're the only German we know

I guess you can be Edd for the German dubs.

Christopher Diewald: Uh.. Really?

Matt: You know anyone else?

Helmut Diewald: Can I be on Eddsworld now?

Edd: Yeah sure why not.

Christopher and Helmut: [ugly snot crying]