RANDUMB/Transcript

Transcript
Captain: Prepare to surface.

Crew 1: Prepare to surface!

Other 4 crewmembers: Prepare to surface! Get that thing up there! Surfacing! Surfacing?! [bubbling noise]

Bathtub Guy: [chuckle] [alarmed gasp] "WOAHH!!" [boat horn sounding] [quack] [an astronaut opens a door, and pulls out a ball with tommee bear on it] [ball squeaking]

Dad: "Ah, don't worry, Champ, I'll always be with you, right here." [slurping sound] [Matt walks over to a toaster and puts some bread in it] [ticking]

(clock chiming)

(footsteps)

(beep)

(electronic walking)

(beep)

(high pitched beep)

- Excuse me, do you have any turnips?

- Sorry, we're all out of turnips.

- Oh well, thanks anyway.

(footsteps)

- I've done as you've requested, Master.

- It is time.

Prepare for phase two.

(sinister chuckle)

- I know pronounce you man and wife, huh.

(wedding march plays)

(explosion)

- No, you.

You did this.

(footsteps receding)

(car zooms past)

(police siren)

(footsteps)

- Sir, do you know how

fast you were driving?

(romantic music)

- Do you know how beautiful your eyes are?

(romantic music)

(birds chirping)

- One last chance.

(paper rustling)

(splashing)

(waves crashing)

(surprised inhale)

(evil chuckle)

- Oh no, I spilled this nondescript liquid

all over the counter.

- Don't worry, with our patented,

super absorbent paper towels, one sheet

is all you need.

- Wow, all this with just one sheet?

That's amazing.

- No wait.

(dramatic music)

(terrified screaming)

(groaning)

One sheet.

(applause)

(loud thud)

(dance music)

- Not on the list.

- Really?

What about my friend, Benjamin Franklin?

- Hello.

- Mister Franklin.

I'm so sorry, sir.

Right this way.

(whisper)

- Sorry boys, I tried.

- [Crowd] Ben.

- This is bull hockey.

- Easy there, George.

(crickets chirping)

- Hmm, I know what this party needs.

- [Radio] What a great party.

(party noises)

- Woo hoo

- [Radio] Small talk.

- Okay guys, stand back.

(grunt)

(cork squeaking)

(crashing noise)

(bird wings flapping)

(cork squeaking)

(hollow thud)

(upbeat electronic music)

- Hey Edd Heads, thanks for watching.

Random something a little bit different

but also something nostalgic and familiar.

So we hope you enjoyed it.

Let us know in the comments below.

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(upbeat electronic music)